Stanford Newspaper Sets Forth Demands

This story comes via The College Fix.  The independent student newspaper at Stanford University, The Stanford Review, has come out with a set of demands for the university's administration, just in time for April 1st.  The first few are:

1. WE DEMAND that Stanford builds a wall around El Centro Chicano, and makes MEChA pay for it.

2. WE DEMAND that Stanford expels Panda Express from campus, since its food is culturally appropriative, and celebrates the harvesting of the endangered panda bear.

3. WE DEMAND that Stanford renames White Plaza to Black Plaza. Naming a central plaza after a race is hateful.

Wait a minute, there.  Isn't "black" just as much as a race as "white"?  And why not use the more PC term "African American" instead?  The next one, in any event, would have to be my favorite.

4. WE DEMAND that Stanford recognizes that half-lives matter, and establishes a committee to fund the Chemistry and Physics Departments accordingly.

Due to my own scientific background, I could definitely get behind the "Half-Lives Matter" movement.  I can also think of an appropriate historical figure to be used as a symbol.  To learn the entire list of demands, read the original article.