Tuesday, December 6, 2016

One Two Three [Guitar Chords] Turn It Up

In a story I ran across yesterday, but which was published about two weeks ago, shoppers at a Brooklyn food store were triggered by, of all things, a song.  I know that some people can be oversensitive, but this was so strange that I wonder if a bit of NaCl might be in order.  As David Marcus, who had been shopping with his wife, writes in The Federalist:
After getting our Brazilian Arabica ground for drip (I know, I should really use a French Press), Libby and I walked towards the organic maple syrup. That’s when it started. I suppose there had been music playing in the store, but I hadn’t noticed until a familiar guitar lick pierced the air and a soft voice said, "Turn it up."
In case you haven't figured it out by now, the song was Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd.  (As I type this, the squiggly red underline appears under both parts of the name.)  It's an old favorite of mine, which I performed a couple of times during my younger days.  But for these shoppers, listening to it appears to have been a form of torture.  Back to TF:
By the time Ronnie Van Zant's drawl started in with "Big wheels keep on turnin'," everyone in the store was standing in shock. Brows were furrowed, people mumbled to each other. The song seemed to get louder as one of those New York moments happened, when everyone was thinking the exact the same thing.
A woman in her fifties, wearing a Love Trump Hates button, turned to her Brooklyn-bearded husband and said loudly, "This is unbelievable!" She found the nearest store clerk, a young woman in a green apron who was staring up at the ceiling, looking for the invisible speakers blaring this message from the other America. "This is so inappropriate," the woman said. "Can we turn this off?"
My answer would have been a big fat "No freaking way!" and then to continue with Gimme Three Steps and Free Bird, all of which came out during the 1970's.  (My spell checker, which rejected the band's name, has no problem with "Gimme".)  I might have even thrown in Red, White, and Blue, which was recorded by a more recent incarnation of the band.

This episode gives me a couple of ideas, the first of which comes from Canada.  A few posts ago, I noted that the Kensington, PEI police are giving arrested suspects a dose of Nickelback during the cruise ride to the station.  Perhaps anti-Trump protesters who run afoul of the law might similarly get an earful of Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Or would that violate the Eighth Amendment?  The other idea is to blast such protesters with the band's music as part of a counter-protest, in a manner similar to how the Beatles attacked the Blues Meanies in the cartoon movie Yellow Submarine.  But instead of the Blue Meanies, we now have Black Lies Matter.

Read the full story, put on some Lynyrd Skynyrd, and as Ronnie Van Zandt said, "Turn it up."

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